In an age when speed-dating events cater to our every desire, singles’ dinner parties are found all over the city, and online dating allows us to line up several dates in a few short chat sessions, filling those PDAs with multiple dates isn’t just acceptable — it’s encouraged.
But not all of us are quite ready to trade a quiet night in for an active dating life.
“I think a lot of people just hang back and don’t prioritize their dating,” says Sally Gray, television presenter and host of Slice’s latest offer How To Find A Husband, on why people don’t date more often.
In the British series, Gray, 37, takes a 10-week hiatus from real life to just focus on finding her soul mate, trying every dating technique imaginable. Finding love and marriage in 10 short weeks might seem forced and contrived, but Gray does manage to go on 70 dates in 70 days with 50 different men, learning how to handle a dating agenda well-stacked in her favour.
“Dating is a numbers game. There’s more chance of you finding somebody the more you date,” says Gray, who from her experience in the series found one in every 10 guys she dated potential relationship material.
Gray adds the more you date, the more comfortable you are doing it and the less pressure you put on yourself to have every date be perfect.
“The good thing about multiple dating is I didn’t feel like I had to put all my eggs in one basket,” says Gray. “You just start to relax (the more you do it). It’s like starting a new job. The more you do it, the better you get and the more you learn as you go.”
But dating too many, too often can, as Gray found out, make it hard to connect with that someone you might actually enjoy getting to know.
“There was one night I got a text message from three of the guys I really liked and I thought, ‘This is brilliant,’ but I wasn’t really able to differentiate and think about just one guy and think about all his great points,” says Gray, who admits she was facing a case of “date lag” by the end of her 10 weeks. “You don’t get a chance to be true to your heart.”
The solution, then, is likely somewhere in between 70 dates in 70 days and only going on dates at the turn of a new decade.
“Dating is kind of like a diet. You need portion control. It’s not about dating too much,” says Gray. “But try and date two or three men a month if you can and just get yourself out there.”
How To Find A Husband is on Slice Wednesday at 9 p.m.