A kiss from the underrated city of Glasgow
Often the butt of much comedy stereotyping, Scotland’s industrial heart is actually a fantastically buzzing modern city which with a dignity and beauty that will take your breath away.
See: The School of Art
This building in Renfrew Street, which is still a thriving art college, was designed by Charles Rennie Mackintosh and is as sublime an example of art nouveau as you will find anywhere. Take a guided tour (daily, email firstname.lastname@example.org) or just walk the perimeter and marvel at the details.
Hear: The impenetrable Glasgow accent!
Even fellow Scots struggle with the deep dark guttral Glasgow accent so don’t be afraid to ask people to slow down.
Of course not all Glasgwegians use this incomprehensible tongue but as Friday night wears on in Sauchiehall Street an increasing number do.
Eat: Deep Fried Mars Bar
Oh come on.. it was a joke! Try Lux in the Great Western Road for baby black pudding on smoky bacon potato scone or Rab Ha’s in Hutcheson Street for the full haggis, neeps and tatties — don’t ask what it is, just eat!
Drink: A pint o’ heavy
A dark bitter ale, usually McEwans, served everywhere. Despite it’s name it’s actually not that strong at about 3.7 per cent abv. Alternatively have a cup of tea at The Willow Tea Rooms in Sauchiehall Street, also beautifully designed by Rennie Macintosh.
Wear: A kilt
Nip into Macgregor and Macduff on Bath Street and hire a full dress kilt for about $120. If you’re feeling really Braveheart you can even buy one for about $500. Otherwise, whatever time of year it is, take a coat!
Do: Enjoy the museums
There are 13 in total and each one is brilliant in its own way. The Kelvingrove and Museum of Modern Art are international class galleries but don’t miss the People’s Palace for the fascinating true story of the city.
Don’t: Be partisan
They take their football very seriously here so if you are invited to offer an opinion on the ongoing, and occasionally lively, Celtic V Rangers debate your best plan is to feign ignorance and claim to be an ice-hockey fan!
Say: Alba gu bràth!
Roughly translated as Scotland forever. Used as a rallying cry in Braveheart and occasionally heard late on Friday and Saturday nights!
A little England-baiting will also endear you to most Scots as they have a love-hate relationship with their nearest neighbours. That is, they love to hate them!
Don’t say: See you Jimmy!
Despite being the source of much humour from bad comedians, the phrase “see you Jimmy” is almost never ever heard in real life.
However, if you did happen to hear it you may wish to move quickly in the opposite direction.