An Israeli couple recently named their new baby girl Like, as in the like button on Facebook.
Like, is that not the dumbest thing you ever heard?
The same couple also named their other daughters Pie, as in lemon meringue, and Vash, which is Hebrew for honey.
The parents, Lior and Vardit Adley, say they wanted a unique and modern name for their newborn and Like sounded “modern and innovative.” Lior told an Israeli newspaper that Like is the modern equivalent of the name Ahova (Love).
No, it isn’t. It’s a button. On a piece of software. It’s a ploy designed to create a digital pattern allowing Facebook to serve up ads that match your profile. It’s about the money, Honey.
At least they didn’t name their daughter Zuckerberg, after the founder of Facebook. That would Zuck.
Now Like, Pie and Vash Adley will have to spend the rest of their lives in expensive therapy, doing battle with the trauma of their names.
They will be joined in the waiting room by Facebook, an Egyptian whose dad wanted to honour Facebook’s role in the Arab Spring. How about a nice plaque at the front door instead of laying the burden of Facebook Jamal Ibrahim on your poor little tyke?
The irony of Like is that her parents don’t even really “like” Facebook. Lior has fewer than 120 Facebook friends. Which still seems like a lot to me. I have 131 Facebook friends and have trouble keeping up.
The question is why do people do this to perfect innocents who can’t defend themselves? In their quest for 15 minutes of cheap fame, Lior and Vardit have condemned Like, Pie and Vash to spend the rest of their lives spelling and explaining their names to strangers, getting teased mercilessly in the schoolyard by bullies with conventional names, trying to get their names legally changed or using their middle names (which are not, hopefully, Recommend, Edit or Write On Her Wall).
It’s child abuse and it’s hardly rare. It may seem cute at the time, but remember that the apple (Pie?) of your eye has to wear it for the rest of his or her life. Life is hard enough without being called Pie.
Same goes for the current crop of kids named after vampires, politicians and Lady Gaga.