Hi Charles:



I am planning a summer party and I’m inviting most of my family. One of my cousins, however, is married to a guy I can’t stand. If I am hosting and paying for this party, may I invite my cousin and ask her not to bring her husband?



Patsyb




Dear Patsyb:



I fully understand your feelings. We’ve all been in your shoes! I think this is the real problem… if you don’t invite your cousin’s husband, you will do more damage and create more of a scene than if you do invite him.



You risk really offending your cousin and you will put her in a very awkward position. Ask yourself: what is she supposed to tell her husband about why he can’t come to your party?



It’s not fair that your cousin be placed in that position. You have two choices: invite the cousin with her husband or don’t invite either of them. If you’re a good sport, you will invite them both and find someone you can invite to keep the pesky husband occupied in conversation so he leaves you all alone!



Charles would love to hear your questions. email him at askcharlesthebutler@ metronews.ca.