I am in my early 30s and I am a single guy. I feel very lonely, like my life is passing me by. At times I feel jealous to see people older and younger than me getting married and I do not know what to do about it. I am always told I am too nice and I am shy with girls as well. I do not know how to reach out to people using technology. I would rather someone take the initiative or be face to face. How do I go about this when at times I feel like I am losing people or friendships? – Danny
Andrea: Dear depressed Danny,
I’ve learned that any transformation worth going through comes with its share of pain. Right now you’re going through yours, and I hope that it pushes you to stand up for yourself and to believe that you are also entitled to a loving relationship.
Holidays can bring on the blues, but the new year is all about new beginnings. Get excited about where you’re going. Put in the work to improve yourself and your outlook.
No one will make it happen for you, but once you’re successful in achieving your goal, you’ll be happy that you went through it.
Claire: Dear depressed Danny,
You’re right, technology can make forming friendships harder, not easier. But dating sites are the exception.
Make peace with your keyboard and try setting up a dating profile for at least three months — you can exchange emails with people you’re interested in, but remember to sound (and stay) positive.
There are lots of people who feel lonely out there, and who would love to meet someone like you.
Also, try to engage in group activities: join a running club, volunteer somewhere, do things you enjoy.
Trust me, you’ll find love or love will find you, so that one day you’ll look back on these days of freedom and independence with longing.
Carpe date ’em, carpe diem!
• Two sisters, 20-something Andrea and 30-something Claire, offer their differing views on your relationship issues.