Since calling off the wedding five days before it was supposed to happen wasn't quite heartless enough, Playboy model Crystal Harris is taking some below-the-belt shots at former fiance Hugh Hefner.



According to the 25-year-old model, the couple only had sex once during their two-year relationship. She also revealed that it lasted "like two seconds," which could very well be the average for any man who finds himself having sex with a Playboy model. Can you blame the old chap?



"Hef doesn't really take off his clothes. I have never seen him naked," Harris dished during an appearance on Howard Stern's SiriusXM radio show.



Again, when you're about to have sex with a Playboy model, is there really time for that?



She went on to say, "I was over it. I just like, walked away. I am not turned on by Hef. Sorry."



Because it's all about love and passion when you're a 25-year-old model dating an 85-year-old millionaire, right? Please. Every good sugar baby knows you have to make some sacrifices.



In a separate interview with Access Hollywood, Harris did say, "I love Hef. I cared about Hef. I always will. We had a good time together."



Just not quite good enough. Hef has to be rich and good in bed? Can't a guy catch a break? Geez.



But don't feel too sorry for ol' Heff. He's apparently already found someone more caring, more loving and more accepting of his desire to have fully-clothed quickies: Shera Bechard, a 27 year-old French Canadian model who was Playboy's Miss November 2010. Well done, Hef. We're sure it will work out differently for you this time.