Dear Andrea and Claire,
I’m a good-looking deaf man who enjoys going to pubs and nightclubs. I can’t hear or speak clearly, but I can read lips fairly well. Very few women I meet know sign language, but I don’t only look for someone who can. When I go out, I get attention from women, but I’m not able to ask them for a dance or offer to buy a drink. Do you think that women are afraid to talk to deaf men? – Deaf Romeo
Claire: Dear Deaf Romeo,
You sound like you have something that many hearing men don’t, and that is courage.
Most of the population finds it hard to meet people in pubs and nightclubs — these are loud, noisy places that don’t necessarily bring out the best in people.
Why not try and meet someone while you’re doing something you love?
Not only will you increase your chances of meeting a woman with whom you have something in common, but she’ll see you at your best, and as an expert at something.
Your deafness may not seem so important once she’s seen how well you bowl/rock-climb/paint ...
Please write to us again and let us know how it goes!
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Andrea: Dear Deaf Romeo,
In my experience with the male pick-up artist, appearances and even personality do not determine success.
Deaf or not, the main reason guys fail miserably in meeting women is often due to a lack of confidence.
Guys who are assertive usually get the girl.
And don’t forget that a lot of the communication between a man and a woman is transmitted wordlessly.
So perhaps you need to look at how you see yourself — are you as confident as you would like to be perceived, and how much of a handicap do you see your deafness being?
• Two sisters, 20-something Andrea and 30-something Claire, offer their differing views on your relationship issues.