I remember years ago a very wise man telling me, “Divorce is all some people have to look forward to.”
At the time, I thought divorce was sad. It was also before I’d been married and divorced. The actual truth about divorce as Mary Jo Eustace, author of Divorce Sucks, whose husband (Dean somebody) was stolen away by actress Tori Spelling, knows is that it can be the best thing to happen to you.
I originally picked up her book hoping it would be a dirt-filled slag-fest and I could feed my inner gossip, which would in turn feed my outer one. No bitter pill in Eustace’s book though.
Rather, its a hilarious guide helping divorced, specifically dumped women, get through the trauma, or as Eustace calls it, a “tsunami” of divorce. This is the pep talk they need, not therapists enabling the moaning and groaning for years.
Eustace was initially caught off guard when her husband de-camped. In retrospect, she realized divorce had been imminent when she examined her marriage. That’s what happens when most of us do. Husband not interested in sex? He hates you. You cringe at the sound of him breathing or eating cereal. You hate him.
However, some people don’t have the guts to pull the plug. When women like Spelling come along, they do us a favour. What you get is to be yourself again and a second chance at life. As Eustace says, it’s a “reintroduction to yourself.” In other words, it’s psychological botox, a good hair day and a laxative that actually works, all rolled up in one.
While Eustace was unfortunate enough to have her story told in all of the gossip magazines and on TV, she was also lucky enough to get divorced in six months — which could never happen in Canada.
She encourages women to depend on themselves, which means establishing fair custody and child support as well as sticking up for themselves in terms of spousal support. She reminds women to run their personal lives as businesses of which they are now the CEO.
And, finally, she counsels them to enjoy themselves. If marriage is a lifetime commitment (or for some a life sentence) but you got fired, embrace your new life. Says Eustace, “You’re no longer on a day pass. This is your life and you’re in charge.”
