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Divorcing the Kardashians

Wait — you didn’t really think we were done with Kim Kardashian, did you? Far from it, kupcakes.

Wait — you didn’t really think we were done with Kim Kardashian, did you? Far from it, kupcakes.

When there’s a four-hour reality TV special on your $10 million wedding, you better believe there’s weeks worth of gossip when you divorce 72 days later.

Humphries is ‘devastated’

While Kim’s statement was clearly written by her publicist while she went shopping, Humphries was a little less guarded: “I love my wife and am devastated to learn she filed for divorce,” he said in a statement to E! News on Monday evening. “I’m committed to this marriage and everything this covenant represents. I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.”

Are we starting to … feel bad for a member of the Kardashian family? Make this stop. Make this stop right now.

Won’t somebody think of the diamonds?!

In the divorce filing, Kim asked that jewelry acquired during their marriage remain hers, according to E! Online. The actual pieces are unspecified, and we don’t put it past this girl to accumulate some serious gems in 72 days. That said, we’re pretty sure this has something to do with that $2 million diamond on her finger.

Our favourite explanation

If we start explaining the divorce, are we implying that the marriage was real? No matter, this one is too good to pass up: Kim was annoyed that Humphries began “chasing fame” and trying to break into Hollywood, reports TMZ. Save it for your three-part “moving on” special, lady.

We’ll bite, Jess

After Kardashiangate broke, Jessica Simpson must have finally realized no one was going to pay her the $500,000 she was hoping to score for her pregnancy announcement. Monday night, she posted a photo of herself on her personal website in a tight mummy costume, holding her pregnant belly with the caption: “It’s true, I’m going to be a mummy.” Congrats, Jess — months ago.

Today’s The Word is written by Monica Weymouth.

 
 
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