Even though they did not sample Mel Glickman’s fictional Poodle with Noodle or Moo Goo Guy Pootch, High Park area residents found his menu for Authentic Asian Canine Cuisine so tasteless that they called the police on him earlier this week.

On Wednesday, menus for the Dog Liver Café, owned and operated by Top Dog Chef Hy Park (also fictional), were left on cars parked near the leash-free area at High Park, a shady, sandy retreat full of dog walkers, owners and slobbery canines.

The dog lovers took such offence that the police received “numerous” calls.

“It’s awful,” said Marilitta Lee, who walks dogs for 38 owners.

“Every summer there seems to be an incident here. This year we thought we had survived the summer without any incidents, until now.”

Last summer dogs were poisoned with antifreeze in High Park, two of them fatally, leaving dog walkers worried about the safety of their charges.

Glickman, a 68-year-old retired architect with a penchant for word play and a distaste for Tamil protesters and CUPE, says he meant the menu as nothing but a joke — albeit on Toronto
He is proud of the 50 fake items available at the non-existent Dog Liver Café, crafted with rhyme, alliteration and a slightly dark sense of humour.

“I call this an exercise in creative writing,” he said at his home in Bloor West Village yesterday, where a dog calendar hangs on the kitchen cupboard.

“This is really a testing of the water, to see just how anal and uptight Torontonians really are,” he said. “And I think I proved my point.”

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