Senseless in sports:

  • Constant references to NHL general manager Brian Burke as some sort of guru/genius. His Anaheim Ducks underachieved woefully this season, did they not? I think Oilers GM Kevin Lowe was bang-on when he suggested on Edmonton radio station CHED this week that Burke is merely “a loud mouth fellow from down south.”

  • Reports claiming superstar-player-turned-subpar-coach Wayne Gretzky is the “front runner” to become the new chief of the Toronto Maple Leafs.

  • On-air suggestions by Blue Jays homer/analyst Rance Mulliniks that pitcher Shaun Marcum is reminiscent of future Hall of Famer Greg Maddux.

  • Marcum and fellow Toronto pitcher Dustin McGowan claiming their mouth guards are somehow responsible for somehow providing them with added flexibility.

  • Suggestions from propagandists with the Cincinnati Reds that rookie first baseman Joey Votto of Etobicoke (who this week became the only Canadian other than B.C.’s Larry Walker and Justin Morneau to hit three home runs in a game) is the finest Ontario-born player in major-league history. What, these guys never heard of Ferguson Jenkins?

  • Boston Red Sox closer Jonathan Papelbon divulging on national television in the United States that he and teammate Manny Delcarmen actually play craps in the bullpen during games.

  • Eric Hinske resurfacing as a productive slugger with the Tampa Bay Rays when he did diddly-squat for the Red Sox and Blue Jays.

  • The operators of Ottawa’s new CFL franchise recruiting Don Matthews to lobby for a refurbished stadium. The man was a football coach, not a politician. Hello?

  • The Argonauts signing another player (David Boston) with a history of off-field problems. I mean, did they not learn anything from their experiences with Ricky Williams and Andre Rison?

  • Mystifying food-related comments about onions and cheese and salami during basketball games by announcer Chuck Swirsky, who’s leaving the Toronto Raptors (yes!) and will fit in nicely in Chicago, otherwise known as The Windy City.

  • Ex-NBA and Raptors ruffian Charles Oakley trying to return to the limelight as the host of a cooking show.

  • U.S. president George W. Bush including Denver Broncos coach Mike Shanahan on the invitation list to his daughter’s wedding. Only 200 guests are invited. Bush has met Shanahan once.

  • The nickname of Ottawa’s minor-league baseball team, the Rapidz. Why the z instead of an s?

  • The firing of Don Charette as the Rapidz’ rookie GM, two weeks before opening day.

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