This is the first installment of Generation Beta, Metro's roundup of odd n ews, weird news, funny news, and the hilarious freaks who slipped through Darwin’s crack. These are stories that will even make Grandpa chortle.

 

Don’t Mess With Texas

 

So here’s a scary one: Thinking the US just isn’t doing enough to protect her borders, Texans are taking matters into their own hands…and they’ve built a navy.



Next month the state's Department of Public Safety is deploying the first fleet of six gunboats. The boats -- with bulletproof plating and six machine guns apiece -- will patrol the Rio Grande.



The vessels are similar to those used by the US navy for river patrols in Vietnam. They'll be used to stop drugs, not people, from coming across the border.



Post-Birth Abortions

 

Many who are pro-life for religious reasons cite the bible…but if you look closely, the bible put all sorts of babies out to pasture to die. Those with cleft lips, down syndrome…anything that made the baby look “devilish,” that kid was out. To die. Alone.



Thought we were past that in this modern world? Think again.



Two Oxford bioethicists are arguing that “after-birth abortion” – essentially, infanticide – is morally sound. And should be legal.



The two doctors – Alberto Giubilini (University of Milan) and Francesca Minerva (Melbourne University) – say that babies “do not have the same moral status as actual persons.” So yeah, screw it, kill ‘em all!



The docs, by the way, think that the post-birth abortion should be legal even in cases where the newborn is not disabled.



Props to the Journal of Medical Ethics for taking this on. I’d not want to be your “Letter to the editor” guy this week.



And a final thought.



Breaking News: Sometimes, Women Like to Be Tied Up And Called Whores



Despite the fact that we have a presidential election coming, Syria is erupting in armed strife, two American NATO officers were killed in Afghanistan and a slew of other actual news stories, the Today show did this morning what Today does best…they spent the morning discussing S&M fetishes. They were plugging a new book, and so here so will I: it’s called Fifty Shades of Grey, and it’s a sexy domination bodice ripper. It’s the book I was supposed to write, but a Brit got to it first.

 

Having said that, I don’t want to spend my morning watching a half dozen mediocre-looking suburban forty-year-olds talk about how much better the sex with their husbands has gotten since they incorporated a few well placed ties and got into dirty talk. But maybe you do? Here's the video:

 

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