Leighton Meester understands that being on a buzzed-about show automatically puts her in the spotlight — but she doesn’t have to like it, femalefirst.co.uk reports.

“I don’t want most of what comes along with all of this,” the Gossip Girl star told Harper’s Bazaar.

One recent downside came when an ex-boyfriend began shopping around an alleged sex tape. “(The tape) is not real, so it makes me sort of sad,” she said. “It’s unfortunate that it got carried as far as it did.”

Meester says the rumour has taught her some lessons about life. “I definitely understand the nature of people better now and that the mere allegation of something like that could be headline news. People think it’s real because somebody says it is.”