It’s a sad day when pollution is so heavy the air tastes like dirt. All the while, icebergs are melting, cities are flooding and forests are being destroyed.

The world’s population is using 20 per cent more natural resources than the Earth can produce and there is an ever-increasing population and ever-decreasing food supply. What the world needs is a fair, cheap and easy solution.

I shall therefore humbly propose my own thoughts. I have been assured by a reliable Internet blog that there is a great opportunity to colonize Mars. It has a rich environment of carbon dioxide that could be developed into an atmosphere suitable for humans.

Therefore, I propose that mankind move to Mars and leave Earth to become a desolate wasteland.

 

Mars is approximately half the size of Earth so only half the population should be permitted to move to Mars. Immigrants will be selected based on a key criteria — those who have leading roles in society (celebrities, corporate leaders and politicians).

There is a dual purpose in sending these people to Mars. It is well known that governing bodies control action taken toward climate change and many corporations are the leading cause of pollution. If these people are sent to Mars, the degradation of Earth will be slowed down so a few more generations can live a quiet existence.

Don’t mention other solutions — of cutting consumption, of green transportation and of sustainable living — until there is any glimmer of hope that people will make a sincere attempt to put them into practice.

Before any counter-proposals, consider these two points: Those who have the power to influence change are not creating policies to divert from our current path. Secondly, those who have the financial means to invest in real solutions have more to lose so are apt to continue their ways.

Moving to Mars would mean mankind wouldn’t need to learn a lesson from the wasteland formerly known as Earth — we just need to start searching for another replacement planet. I have heard that Venus also has great potential. Citizens could continue in their patterns of unsustainable living without concern for the future, continuing to think short term, living in their oversized homes and driving SUVs.

Author’s note: This piece has been inspired by Jonathan Swift’s A Modest Proposal, in which he satirically proposes children be used for red meat to end Ireland’s economic woes.

Christina Franc, 21, has a bachelor’s degree in journalism from Carleton University.

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