It’s going to be a jam-packed year, as we have to get it all in before the world ends on Dec. 21.
So let’s get started with this week’s Metro List, the authoritative compendium of what’s goin’ on:
1. PR nightmare: Four U.S. Marines are caught urinating on dead Taliban with extreme prejudice. Once again, the smartphone proves its worth as a weapon of mass embarrassment.
2. Awwww: Vancouver Aquarium’s sea otter Milo, the world’s cutest animal, succumbs to cancer at 12. A YouTube video of Milo and Nyac — also a sea otter — holding paws and floating on their backs, has racked up 17 million views. Nyac was the older woman; she died last year at 20. Who says otters are slippery? Milo was staunch.
3. Dining alfresco: Breast-feeding pix nixed on Facebook as sexually explicit, which leads us to wonder just how kinky they are at the world’s foremost social network. Meanwhile, that “naturist” guy who kept going through the drive-thru at Timmy Ho’s starkers had his sentence upheld. What’s the big deal? They’re both cases of little boys having dinner.
4. World’s most dangerous job: Iranian nuclear scientist No. 4 gets blown up this week. The Israelis: Who, Us? If this keeps up, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad will have to make his own damn atomic bombs.
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5. Katy Perry: 5; Russell Brand: 0: She’s hot enough to melt your popsicle, winning five People’s Choice Awards. Ex-hubby Russell Brand? He loses the California Gurl. And the consolation prize of being referred to as the star of Arthur is no consolation at all.
6. Good news, bad news: In the same week, Toronto Maple Leafs defenceman Dion Phaneuf gets voted to the all-star squad and is rated the NHL’s most overrated player. Somebody’s wrong.
7. HBD: Kate Middleton, er, the Duchess of Somewhere, turns 30. You think that’s something? Betty White turns 90 this week, and she’s still funny. Kate Middleton has never — to our knowledge — been funny. Although she does smile a lot.
8. Show us the file: The RCMP spied on Bob Rae when he was on the University of Toronto student council. Now that he’s Liberal leader, they don’t care … as he’s a threat to no one.
9. Bieber watch: He’s going back into the studio to work on his next album. Will his voice crack before he’s finished?