Canada Day. A countrywide celebration of this great land of ours. Canadians will be enjoying some downtime, engaging in traditional holiday activities: Watching fireworks, hanging with friends and wondering whether their local Shoppers Drug Mart is open.
But not in my town. Toronto, alas, is in the grip of a civic workers strike. So here there’s no flag-raising ceremony. No fireworks. I think we’re still allowed to have friends, but I’ll have to check.
I don’t question our civic workers’ right to strike. If the noble, venerable institution of democracy stands for anything it’s the right to gripe, complain and generally refuse to sit back and take it if you feel you’re treated unfairly. And there’s no reason we can’t celebrate anyway. Here’s some suggestions for 100 per cent politics-free festivities.
The annual Thank God, It’s Finally Summer fete. This event may be observed any time after the last, for sure final snowfall of the year. My sister in Calgary tells me that, in her city, they feel it will be safe to celebrate sometime around mid-August. Last year in Toronto summer arrived exactly 15 minutes before the onset of fall. I missed it entirely because I was using the bathroom at the time.
The I Found A Bathing Suit That Looks Fabulous On Me victory frolic. This event is celebrated so rarely many people claim it’s the stuff of legend. The occasion is observed by feeling sorry for those poor, unfortunate Sports Illustrated models who don’t look nearly as good as you, tossing your entire collection of beach cover-ups and calling the store to see if it has the same swimsuit in 40 other colours.
My Child’s Finally Finished With Diapers day.
This significant occasion is marked by burning $60 cash outside your local supermarket to celebrate your release from financial burden. Following this event are two accompanying celebrations: The Now We Have To Find A Washroom Every 20 Minutes festival, and The Time To Start Saving For The Kid’s Tuition romp.
The Weather Is Beautiful, Life Is Short And Heck, That Just Seems Like A Good Enough Reason To All Knock Off Early jubilee … that one is fairly self-explanatory.
With a little imagination, we can create holidays that aren’t subject to the whim of strikes and conflict. So, no matter where you live, let’s get out there and celebrate. Just about anything.