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Funny Monday: Al Qaeda, Viagra and the least-happy person in the U.S.

Al Qaeda is starting a women's magazine. These guys are happy about it.

Monday: Who needs it? Thankfully, everyone's least-favorite workday is almost over, and we've got the funniest links of the day to tide you through until closing time.


» The Internet is blowing up about the tale of al Qaeda's new lady-centric glossy magazine Al-Shamikha ("The Majestic Woman"). As The Independent reports:



Much like Elle or Cosmopolitan, it includes advice on finding the right man ("marrying a mujahideen"), how to achieve a perfect complexion (stay inside with your face covered), and provides tips on first aid and etiquette.


[...] For those readers not quite ready for such a drastic step, it argues the pros and cons of honey facemasks and lobbies against "towelling too forcibly."



So many jokes to make, all of them offensive.


» From Gawker comes a tale of embarrassment to the U.S. government. Apparently, for a few months in 2007-2008, Medicare Part D was 'accidentally' subsidizing elderly erections, providing over $3 billion in reimbursements for Viagra and Cialis. They say it was a computer error, but let's be real.


» Fresh off their unveiling of the demographically happiest person in the country, the New York Times has another scoop: the statistics that would make the least-happy person in America. Are you a 4' 10" middle-aged Muslim woman who is divorced with no children, and who earns less than $12,000 as an unemployed manufacturing worker in West Virginia? If so, you could be the most unhappy person in the country!


» But at least you're not a writer for FOX's Fox Nation blog, who mistakenly passed on a story from Pakistan's version of the Onion as fact. "'Padded Bras Are Devil's Cushions' says Council of Islamic Ideology," is actually not a real story, it turns out! We would make fun of them, but is the first link in this roundup any less ridiculous?


» Finally, we close with a funny viral video that's been making the rounds. Ferris Bueller, recut to look like a Sofia Coppola film:


 
 
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