Real talk: You can do almost anything to a black person in this country and people will find a way to make it their fault.

How else to explain Geraldo River’s bizarre assertion this morning that it wasn’t George Zimmerman or even unconscious racism that killed Trayvon Martin — it was the hoodie the high-school student was wearing when he stepped outside to buy candy and an iced tea.

In a column on Fox News today, Geraldo writes:

Because this is a teachable moment let me speak plainly.

Whatever Reverends Sharpton and Jackson say in Florida Friday, after listening to the 911 tapes and hearing the witness’ testimonials, I believe Trayvon Martin would be alive today but for his hoodie.

I want the feds to thoroughly investigate and prosecute vigorously if the evidence warrants. But understanding the wrath currently focused on George Zimmerman and the police chief and the town council and the gun sellers and everyone else, I am begging parents of kids in Trayvon’s vulnerable demographic to heed my politically incorrect approach to this story.

If you dress like a hoodlum eventually some schmuck is going to take you at your word.

“Dress like a hoodlum?” Does Geraldo know who wears hoodies? Everyone wears hoodies. They’re insanely comfortable, they keep you warm, and they look cool. No demographic owns them. When you wear a hoodie you’re dressing like a middle-schooler, you’re dressing like a football coach and you’re dressing like a tech billionaire, all at the same time.

What Geraldo really means, but won’t say, is “Look like a hoodlum, and you deserve to get shot.” And any guesses what it was about Trayvon Martin that makes Geraldo think he looked like a hoodlum?

Below, a collection of people we’re sure Geraldo is terrified of: