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Here's another word for 'Prom': Ugh

Even if the Reel Guys were still teens, they still would have hated this movie.<br />

Nova Prescott (Aimee Teegarden) is an overachieving senior and head of the prom committee. After spending weeks working on decorations for the big night a mysterious fire reduces her hard work to ash. Will the prom go on? Will school rebel Jesse Richter (Johnny Depp look-a-like Thomas McDonell) actually turn out to be a good guy? Will anyone care by the time the credits roll? Over the course of the extra long running time, hearts are broken and mended, tears are spilled, rugs are cut and the true meaning of prom is revealed.


Star Ratings:
Richard: Zero stars
Mark: *

Richard Crouse: Mark, first of thanks for the corsage. It was perfect for the Prom screening, and how did you know aqua carnations are my favorite? As for the movie itself, I know it is meant for teens and we're somewhat older than the target audience, but really, I think there is a case to be made to bring the filmmakers up on charges of elder abuse for making us sit through this tedious exercise in youth entertainment. What did you think?

Mark Breslin:
Richard, I would have hated this movie even when I was a teen. My objection is not that it was for teenagers, but that it was made for stupid and uncritical teenagers. There have been lots of smart, sly high school movies: Heathers, Mean Girls, Jawbreaker, Easy A. This is not one of them. Except for the incredible plot twist revealed halfway through the picture, there would be no reason to see it.

RC: Incredible plot twist? I just saw it and have no idea what you mean. This is as by the book as it gets. Anyone who doesn't know how this is going to end by the time the opening credits have played has never seen a movie before. Predictable in the extreme, even the stuff this kind of movie usually gets right, like the comic relief, doesn't bring any relief.

MB: The plot twist is this: One of the girls gets accepted to Parsons School of Design for the following semester, but the letter is clearly dated 2015. That means the entire movie is taking place four years into the future, during which time a group of orthodontists from outer space colonize a high school and replace the students with insipid, dweeby versions of themselves, giving them all perfect teeth in the process. Diabolical! Then they turn the males into Eighties teen star clones of Ralph Macchio, Keanu Reeves, John Cusack, etc. Diabolical, I say!

RC: Ha! the only truly diabolical thing about this movie is the script, which makes the old Afternoon Specials seem like Chekov. The characters all seem borrowed from The Breakfast Club, only without the special touch that John Hughes brought to his movies. The Johnny Depp lookalike almost brings the bad boys thing to life, but the rest of them are straight outta central casting.

MB: And I've never seen a bad boy roll over so fast. I don't think a principal can order a student to do extracurricular work. That bad boy shoulda called the ACLU!

 
 
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