15 Saskatchewan Rd.
Ambience: The Exhibition’s former horticulture building was transformed into Toronto’s latest cause celebre of nightclubs last September and has since been turning away the undeserving masses in favour of the “right” crowd every Saturday night. The highly adaptable space is massive, accommodating upwards of 3,500 people with a huge patio, booming sound system and a fantastic domed ceiling reminiscent of the Ex’s early 20th-century glory days. The super-club vibe is designed for preening and showcasing one’s financial prowess, with bottle service in high demand and almost all of the available seating roped off for those indulging in said luxury. Be sure to take in the Muzik experience soon — past Toronto nightlife history doesn’t bode well for venues of this size with such discriminating taste in clientele.
Crowd: A healthy selection of early to mid-20s “beautiful people” ensures ample eye candy, but in contrast to many of the city’s other high-end venues, Muzik offers the type of artificial exclusivity reserved for ultra trendy venues that tend to burn out before they fade away. Weekend shooters and borderline Barbie dolls have a limited attention span.
Dress code: Upscale casual is the preference, but many of the women wear as little as legally possible. The guys don’t mind and stick to their usual club gear.
Best accessories: Fake breasts, fake tan, fake hair, fake nails, collagen, pec implants, mere acquaintances you call “my really good friends.”
Cocktail du jour: Anything with a Red Bull base or self-poured from your own bottle service selection. And if you’re ordering full bottles, make sure they’re premium (think Grey Goose).
Hours: Saturday, 9:30 p.m. until close.