Seems that old adage about people “letting themselves go” after marriage is true.

Research out of the University of North Carolina recently published in the journal Obesity followed 6,949 U.S. adolescents into young adulthood and found that those who married were more than twice as likely to become obese than those who just kept dating.

It isn’t surprising that people put on weight once married. Instead of scarfing down a frozen Lean Cuisine before rushing out to meet your Monday night Singles’ Rock Climbing club, once married, you’re more likely to sit down to a full meal together followed by a night in front of the TV, scarfing down a bag of potato chips while the svelte couple in your wedding portrait mocks you from the mantle piece.

Obviously this isn’t an issue for many couples — just more to love, right? — but, as wonderful as it is to love and accept each other no matter what, it seems to me many people use this as an excuse to stop loving themselves.

And before you get on my case and think I’m implying that you can’t love yourself if you’re heavy or that you can’t love and accept someone else who’s heavy, I’m speaking more specifically about people who don’t start marriage that way.

According to this study, controlling your weight in a relationship can be tough and even cause strain in the relationship.

For example, if your partner is constantly bringing home junk food when he or she knows you’re struggling with your weight it can make you feel resentful and unsupported.

Or, in some cases, if one partner manages to lose weight and get in shape, the heavier partner can sometimes feel threatened and insecure.

Asking a partner to lose weight will only make them feel defensive and ultimately less motivated anyway.

So what do you do? Simply accept it as part of married life?

Obviously, we fall in love with a person, not their size but to deny that part of what drew you to your partner was their physical appearance is naïve.

If their looks change significantly during your relationship or marriage, isn’t it also naïve to think this won’t have an effect on your relationship?

What do you think? How would you feel if your partner gained a lot of weight? Would you say anything? If you and your partner have both gained weight, has it affected your relationship?

Go to Josey’s Sexcetera blog at and let us know how you feel.

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