BEIJING, China — When you’re deep in the bowels of economy class, a 12-hour flight across the Pacific is not pleasant.

I was about five hours out of San Francisco when the hallucinations kicked in.

As deep vein thrombosis clotted my blood and the Brazilian sleeping pill did something other than put me to sleep, I ended up conducting a question-and-answer session with myself.

Here’s what I remember.

 

I don’t remember seeing any CD shelving in the 2012 IKEA catalogue. No more Benno shelves or Ivar racks? What does that mean?

Well, at least they still sell things that look like milk crates.

Why do people keep giving money to Madonna to direct films?

Given the reviews of W.E., they won’t anymore.

Best go back to fulfilling the obligations of that $120-million deal with Live Nation.

Time to go on the road again, dear.

Hasn’t anyone had enough of U2 by now?

After a less-than-successful album, a two-year world tour and a documentary at TIFF, all that’s left for 2011 is a reissue of Achtung Baby.

There may be four albums’ worth of material in the works, but they really need to go away to dream things up again.

Who’s buying all those Adele albums? I mean, she’s sold 10 million copies of 21.

Lots of different people — and not just those who pick up their music from the counter of Starbucks or at Wal-Mart. This is a rare album that has become a genuine phenomenon based solely on the quality of the music.

Why haven’t there been more songs written about 9-11? I mean, that was a defining moment for so many things.

Other than The Rising by Bruce Springsteen, Let’s Roll from Neil Young and a couple of country songs, the events of that day haven’t really been captured in song. The trauma may have been too great.

Aren’t people tired of hearing Gary Glitter’s Rock and Roll, Part 2 at sporting events? And Crazy Train? And Are You Ready for This?

Note to self: write a column on new songs for stadia.

I’m sure I’ll have more questions and answers for myself on the way home. The flight home from my conference takes 13-and-a-half hours.

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