If I was short on wisdom, I hope my luck rubbed off

Goodbye columns are a bit self-indulgent, but I figured you might aswell hear it from me: This is it for us — this is my last Relatingcolumn.

 

Goodbye columns are a bit self-indulgent, but I figured you might as well hear it from me: This is it for us — this is my last Relating column.

 

I hope this news doesn’t bring about sadness (or too much gladness, either). It will be OK. You’ll be reading someone new in no time, and that’s cool with me. I want you to be happy, or at least entertained.

 

We’ll probably bump into each other from time to time, and I hope that’s not too weird for you. If you’re ever in Ottawa, you can still read me in Monday’s paper.

 

I enjoyed our little biweekly thing. Thanks for reading me and my gorgeous, brilliant co-columnists, Andrea Woo and Sofi Papamarko. We hope it was good for you, too.


I’ll admit this column felt like a strange bit of casting for me from the outset. As I said right off the top, the intricacies of relationships have always escaped my understanding. My good ones have felt a lot like luck, and nothing I wrote on the subject should be construed as advice — or even a clue.


I probably should have included that disclaimer on every column thereafter. My sincere apologies go out to anyone who tried to navigate a real-life relationship using this column as a chart.


I was reminded of just how tricky advice of this sort can be, how any given theory on relationships might not be any truer than its obverse, as I talked to a good friend the other day.


He’s single and trying to shake this stubborn condition with the help of eHarmony. As a result, he’s been through a lengthy series of one-off dates that have generally gone nowhere, but I assured him he was probably on the right track. Everyone he meets through the online service, I reasoned, has at least decided, like him, that she’s serious enough about finding someone to take the step of registering and setting up dates. They’re trying, you’re trying and it makes sense to keep trying, right? It seemed self-evident.


But maybe, posited my friend, when you stop looking is when you’re finally, paradoxically, more likely to find someone. That sounded right, too, because it seems to happen quite a bit.


It’s happened to me. I got lucky out of the blue. Kathryn made me lucky. So if I have occasionally come up a little short on specific wisdom to impart, I hope some of my luck has at least rubbed off on you. We all need it sometimes.


Steve Collins offers his best guesses on relationships for Metro every two weeks.

 
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