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When ya gotta go, this app will reserve you a public bathroom

Because no one wants to be the stinky reason a subway car is completely empty on a full train.
Rockaloo
Wasting your best moves on the pee-pee dance? There's an app for that! Photo: iStock

If only there was an app to save us from having to pee while out and about in Manhattan, popping into the one Starbucks without a functioning bathroom and having to dodge and weave around tourists to find another before piddling our pants.

Oh, but there is.

A new app called Rockaloo (get it?) allows pee-pee dancers to purchase passes to private lavatories the city. No lines!

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The app launched in August and now partners with 130 businesses in Manhattan, Brooklyn and Queens. Rockaloo provides a map of available restrooms with passes selling from 99 cents to up to $8.99.

After you buy the pass, you have an hour to get to the establishment, show your pass and experience sweet relief.

Is $8.99 a lot to spend on a potty break? Well, not speaking from personal experience, but let’s say you’re out for brunch the afternoon after after a wild (vodka-soaked) night out followed by a Lucky's burger and fries. You’re on your way home on a sunny Sunday and find out the trains aren’t working. Like, MTA is just a mess. (Again, totally hypothetical.) You realize your digested dish of steak and eggs isn’t going to wait until you get home and start to sweat. If you had the choice between spending nine bucks or soiling your trousers, which would you choose?

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Is it totally fair to monetize bathrooms in a city where everyone lives their days subway-station-to-subway-station with long walks holding double-bagged purchases in between? According to Rockaloo founders David Sirieix, Yvan Bedouet and Binoy Wilson, they really just want to improve bathroom access across the city.

The website extolls Rockaloo’s wonders as a “charitable pay-per-use App that grants non-customers a preauthorised access to private businesses' restroom.” The pass proceeds are split between Rockaloo, the businesses providing the comfort and charity.

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Seinfeld character George Costanza showed up on a 2009 episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm (returning soon!) after having made millions off an iPhone app called iToilet.

Poor George lost his money to Bernie Madoff in the fictional setting, but a similar app called Where to Wee was launched the same year IRL. It provides a map of W.C. locations, but no restroom reservations. Android users, no worries! Rather than leave you sh-t outta luck, the app is also available on Google Play.

 
 
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