Due to multiple inquiries about shameful past Philly-area reports of police horses being attacked during celebrations of athletic events, Metro staff attempted to imagine and channel the spirit of a Philly police horse. Below read their view, 'Straight from the Horse's Mouth.'
"So you want to hear it straight from the horse's mouth? Few horses have jobs anymore, the carriage ride trade is smaller than ever and police work is a dangerous job. I’ve had a long face ever since that drunk Eagles fan punched me in January. So as Philly prepares to honor the Villanova Wildcats with a parade in Center City Thursday, to fans getting too rowdy, I say: 'Stop horsing around!' Violence is not condoned, and while I'm just as excited for the Wildcats as you are, I'm hoping not to get struck this year, because it's kind of ruining our reputation around the country. And to those who hate Philly sports teams, I say, 'Get off your high horse.' My favorite will always be the 'Phillies' – get it? Be safe! NEEEE-I-I-I-GGH!'