If you believe in something — passionately and deeply — you’re willing to fight for it. Like social injustices, unfair employment policies, your children’s health. If it’s something that really means a lot to you, you’ll get all fired up and speak out.


But are you willing to stand up and fight for the person you love?


We all get complacent sometimes in our relationships — especially at this time of year, when it’s often dark and dreary outside. Our days are shortened by the lack of light, and we tend to trudge through the hours without much energy for anything extra.


And so many of us lead crazy treadmill lives — getting to work on time, getting the kids to school, running errands during our lunch break, busy with the kids or chores after work, or busy with a hectic social life with family and friends — that we rarely have time to just sit and enjoy each other’s company in a relaxed way. Our harried schedules can sometimes get in the way of our relationships.

So I wonder — and the sentimental holiday spirit emphasizes my thoughts: Do I let those I love know how much I appreciate them? Does anyone?

It’s not just about buying your husband a new iPod, or your wife a cashmere sweater. Those are just material goods. And it’s not even just about the little things, such as doing the tasks your partner is always nagging you to do.

It’s about making the BIG statement — the equivalent of standing at the top of the highest mountain and screaming “I love you” for all the world to hear — but most importantly for your loved one to know.

Here’s an example: You’ve got this great girlfriend but you’re not ready for marriage, for whatever reason. Take the afternoon to do something she loves, maybe skating, and grab her in the middle of the rink, pour on the romance, bare your soul and tell her how you feel. Your honesty and boldness will hopefully keep her going until you are ready to commit.

And if that doesn’t appease her, figure out whether she’s worth the effort. If she is, take the leap and go the extra mile for her. Maybe you’ve just been holding back by habit.

Love isn’t just a short, hot romance on the way to a routine partnership. It’s the repeated ways you get the message across. Sometimes it’s by what you do. And sometimes, like now, at holiday times, it’s by making the bold move.

If you believe in your relationship, which hopefully you do or you shouldn’t be in it, then you should be more than willing to put in some extra effort.

There’s no time like the present to show just how much you care.


Lisi Tesher is a much travelled freelance writer who has studied art history, photography, languages and pop culture. She is also a constant and fascinated student of relationships, maintaining contact with a worldwide network.