Makeover changes home from terrifying to terrific
All hail the King and Queen of Newfoundland — the rather fabulous Susan and Neil, two charismatic suburbanites with a fabulously gritty edge. Quite how their house became as ugly as it did remains a mystery but, in just a few short days, we once again turned chicken poo into chicken pie adding glamour and indulgence as we went. Hedonistic to the max, the transformation took even us by surprise. Yeah, we know we’re fabulous … but sometimes even we can forget!
When we walked into S and N’s living room for the first time we discovered a terrifying space that appeared to have taken its design reference from a Victorian drawing room (burgundy velvet sofas and depressing dark wood cabinetry), Miss Piggy’s Winnebago (dusty pink carpet and swirly wallpaper) and The Rovers Return in Corrie. Worse still was the master bedroom, which had been, ahem, “decorated” in a colour palette that can only be described as cadaver beige meets grimmest grey.
But let’s get back to our nutty Newfoundlanders! Every time Susan opened her mouth there were comic quips galore and hilarious asides that even the most adept Hollywood script writer would have struggled to match. And Neil? Like an adorable Teddy bear! Possessed of a gentle demeanour (and therefore regularly — but fondly — put upon by his boisterous wife) he literally couldn’t have been any nicer.
So that’s character appraisal taken care of. Let’s get down to the nitty gritty. Blimey — as lovely as they were, could that pair (particularly Susan!) grumble! We painted her living room softest green and she moaned. We added gorgeous chateau inspired wall panelling and she grumbled some more. And when she espied the dramatic floral wallpaper that we’d chosen for her bedroom she stated talking in tongues. Little wonder, then, she sought revenge by inaugurating us as honorary Newfoundlanders and demanded we drink a shot of Screech and kiss a dead fish!
Cue more grumbling. When Susan realized we were commandeering her son’s bedroom (we relocated him downstairs) as a dressing room she became almost apoplectic. In her defence, though, she was simply concerned he’d feel disrupted, which in fact he didn’t. HOWEVER, when Madam saw the ensuing open plan bedroom (complete with pale blue four poster and dreamy mirrored walls) and its adjoining Carrie Bradshaw style dressing room (not to mention a stunning limestone bathroom that sent its sun moon and stars predecessor into orbit) she literally wept with joy.