There’s the bingo your grandma plays in the community centre basement, and then there’s Delta Bingo, which is just a tad less competitive than amateur boxing.


Think you can handle the big leagues? Pick up a professional grade bingo marker from the convenience store across the street, load yourself up on caffeine so your senses are in the Spidey range, and give your knuckles a solid cracking. Because no matter how good you think you are, you will be put to shame by the 82-year-old who can work 12 cards at once without blinking. Just keep your astonishment down or invoke the loudest shush in recorded human history