Bet you weren’t expecting to read an open letter to you in my column this week.
I know you’re a pretty private person and I certainly don’t want to embarrass you by telling all of these nice people too much about how wonderful you are. That said, I want to take this opportunity to admit a few things that I’d never be able to say in person.
Because I’m stubborn.
Listen, you’ve been right about a lot of things over the years. You’ve been right and I’ve been wrong. Enjoy this, because I will never again concede to any of these points, either publicly or privately.
(Unfortunately, due to Mother’s Day’s proximity to tax time, you’ll have to consider this your official present. Sorry.)
Ready? Here we go:
You were right to deny us a puppy. It would have grown into a dog. And the novelty would have worn off. And you’d have been the one wielding the pooper scooper, just like you always said.
You were right about piano lessons. Even though I whined and complained about practising every day for the entirety of my childhood and adolescence, I am glad that you forced us to learn how to play. Piano lessons taught me rhythm, emotion and patience — all things that I draw upon daily as a writer. Piano also instilled a lifelong appreciation for music. Thank you!
You were right about coasters.
You were right about mittens.
You were right about boys who don’t call their moms.
You were right about choosing my friends wisely. I am a happier and better person for having chosen kind, smart, funny, thoughtful and generous friends. Thank you for encouraging the good friendships and judiciously raising an eyebrow at undesirables.
You were right about washing lacy bras by hand.
You were right to be overprotective. There’s a lot of frightening stuff out there and there was no need for me to be exposed to any of it before I was ready.
You were right that choosing a partner will be the most important decision I’ll ever have to make. So … let me take my time.
You were right about spinach salad. (The jury is still out on broccoli salad.)
You were right about polka dots.
You are not right at all about pairing pantyhose with open-toed shoes, but nobody’s perfect.
Happy Mother’s Day!
Ti milvam, Tvoeto srce
Sofi Papamarko is a 20-something writer based in Toronto. Her heroes include Desmond Morris and Nancy Sinatra.