Now, cold hard statistics prove the most important thing about relationships is … communication.
Let’s take the workplace as a simple example: Money is the main culprit behind most arguments when it comes to employers and their employees. But besides the obvious, that one wants more and the other wishes to give less, it’s the way in which the employee asks, and the way in which the employer responds that can gear the discussion either into an easy understanding, or into a massive argument.
The same theory applies to romantic partners, where statistics report that if there are children involved, especially newborn babies to pre-school age, parenting issues are the main point of contention. Deprived of sleep, which leads to irritability, lack of patience, and general moodiness, couples can barely agree on what to eat for dinner, let alone come to an agreement on how to raise their children.
Once children are in school, and before they become teenagers, the biggest arguments between couples occur as a result of financial matters.
How can we help ourselves to avoid turning minor disputes into damaging quarrels? It’s not that easy. We have to ask ourselves bottom line questions, such as: Do you really value this particular employee? Do you really want to work in this job, or would it be better to look for another one? Do you still love your partner? Do you think, with some help, you’ll be able to better understand each other and compromise?
If the answer to any of the above is no, well, then, therein lies the problem.
But if the answer is yes, then it’s time to step back and come up with solutions to keep the situation you’re in. Solutions are the key — they lift the situation from blaming, excuses and polarized attitudes.
It’s about seeing the need for solid objective advice as opposed to wallowing in the depths of conflict.
No relationship is laughter every day, but opening the lines of communication can ease the way to a happier co-existence.
