Since the complete breakdown of the Earth’s ecosystem, solid, chewable food has ceased to exist.

Fortunately, at Pill World, our scientists have been hard at work replicating the main ingredients in the most popular dishes from 20 years ago and distilling their flavours into delicious pills.

While the average 2011 diet consisted of a variety of fresh and processed foods, massive leaps in agricultural technology led to global use of genetically modified foods.

After a series of natural disasters in 2012, the world’s supply of sustainable foods was virtually wiped out. Meanwhile, prices for remaining foods have doubled, as Oxfam predicted back in 2011. Pill World was born — universally accessible, eco-friendly and affordable.

 

Bon appetit!

Appetizers


  • Pile o’ Chicken Wing Pills: This smoky, saucy flavour will make you feel like you’re eating a whole stack of juicy chicken wings from the rare North American chicken.

  • Chicken Quesapilla: The quesadilla was a cheesy, meaty Tex Mex dish mostly served in dive bars in neither Texas nor Mexico.

  • Tossed Pill Salad: Distilled from only the freshest remaining vegetables on the planet — tomatoes, spinach and a lot of other “green” things charred beyond recognition.


Speciality Drinks


  • Pill and Tonic*

  • Vodka, Cran and Pill*

  • Whiskey Sour Pill*


*Please note that pills only contain the flavour of alcohol and not the intoxicating properties. All of the fun of drinking without any of the consequences!

Entrees


  • Pasta Pillmavera: The taste of spring veggies, pasta and sauce in one smooth, mess-free capsule.

  • Cheeseburger Pill-stravaganza: A primitive sandwich made of meat, bread and cheese. We think you’ll find our cheeseburger-flavoured capsules more delicious, nutritious and satisfying.

  • Braized Chicken Breast with Caramelized Onions and a Red Wine Reduction:?The pill is an improvement!


Desserts


  • Chocolate Mousse Pill-splosion: The real version would have made you fat. We’re doing you a favour.

  • Apple Pie à la Pill: Just like your mom’s apple pie, except more pill-shaped.




Michelle Blanchard is a fourth-year Journalism Student at Carleton University.
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