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Royal Wedding: Metro's live-blog of not having watched it

Metro slept through the Royal Wedding. Here is our definitive live-blog of the experience.

Did you watch the Royal Wedding? That's awesome! We were up late (for work!) so we slept in and missed it. Here is our definitive live-blog of the experience.


3:50 a.m.: Guests arrive at Westminster Abbey. Metro is sound and solidly asleep.


4:00 a.m.: Prince William and Kate Middleton are given the titles Duke and Duchess of Cambridge. Metro rolls over.


5:14 a.m.: The Princes arrive. Metro has a dream about helping Julian Assange draft wide receivers for the St. Louis Rams.


6:07 a.m.: Kate Middleton arrives. Metro has no opinions about her dress, as we are too busy training cats in the art of dressage.


6:30 a.m.: The vows! Metro is awoken by sunlight streaming through our window. We check our cell phone for the time, see it's way early, and roll over and fall asleep.


7:20 a.m.: Wills and Kate leave Westminster Abbey. Metro dreams that we need to help our ex-girlfriend dispose of the body of a man she accidentally killed with a crossbow.


7:50 a.m.: The couple arrives at Buckingham Palace. Metro's alarm clock goes off very loudly shortly thereafter. Which is more exciting?


8:30 a.m.: William and Kate share a kiss on the palace balcony. It is quick, embarrassed, and sort of cute. Metro munches on a bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats. The experience is slow, contented, and not cute at all.


8:50 a.m.: The wedding is over: Will and Kate head somewhere luxurious. Metro quickly gets dressed, and heads off to our optometrist.


Did you watch the Royal Wedding? How did your experience compare?


 
 
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