STEPHEN CHERNIN/ASSOCIATED PRESS
STYLISHLY LATE: While we’re only getting the first episodes of Project Runway’s third season here on the Life Network, entertainment sites south of the border are running postmortems of the New York Fashion Week runway shows where the three finalists and a fourth decoy contestant have shown the results of their monthslong labours on their debut collections.
It would be cruel of me to tell you who the final four are, though if you have an Internet connection and an ounce of curiosity, you’re probably watching the show every Monday night with a knowing smirk, drawling out “Well, that’s interesting ...” and “We’ll see, my friend ...” at the TV while someone like my wife shoots you dirty looks for being such a joybang.
We already know that before the final three are announced, chilly Laura will be humanized — or at least exhibit something that confirms her biological humanity — and as every suspense-killing joybang knows, something big will happen next week, something just and satisfying and perfect, and either you’re going to have to wait, try and stay away from entertainment news websites for another month or so, or try not to live with me.
The runway shows went on despite the rain this weekend, attended by former contestants like Emmett, Nick and Daniel and the much-missed Austin Scarlett from Season 2, as well as celebrities as inevitable as three-quarters of Queer Eye For The Straight Guy and Project Runway executive producer Harvey Weinstein, and as inexplicable as Anthony Michael “Sixteen Candles” Hall.
In related news, ABC borrowed a stunt from Metro New York, who sent a platoon of models dressed as Vogue editor Anna Wintour into the crowds to push the just-launched paper two years ago. This year, the network kitted out an uneven dozen like the title character in Ugly Betty, their upcoming fashion world telenovela adaptation, and had them wander the Bryant Park tents in ponchos and thick glasses.
ABC is longing for a big, Desperate Housewivesstyle hit with this one, and I wish them well, if only just to deflate Survivor’s gaseous ratings in the same Thursday night slot.
OUR READERS WRITE: Marla Landers of Ottawa is the first reader to respond to an open invitation to handicap this fall’s new shows with this bitter little glance over the Sargasso Sea engulfing primetime: “I sat down to comment on the networks’ latest crop of TV shows only to find myself rocking back and forth in the corner and whimpering inconsolably at the fact that not only will Everybody Loves Raymond live on in roundthe- clock syndication, but some sadistic enabler has given its evil Brad-Garrettshaped spawn top billing in a sitcom called ’Til Death, which is about how long it will take me to recover from the revelation that someone, quite possibly the above-mentioned sadistic enabler, saw fit to resuscitate 7th Heaven for yet another season.”