I have a lot of gay male friends. I’m not exactly sure how I became such a fruit fly, but it probably has to do with the fact that I enjoy being around brilliant, interesting, quirky and hilarious people. And there happen to be an inordinate number of gay men who fit the bill.
When a gay male in your life transcends the confines of ordinary friendship, they become something known as The Gay Boyfriend.
I am lucky enough to have three.
I met Ben in university. He taught me about wine and men and crème brûlée and The Pet Shop Boys. Ben has the body of a Russian gymnast, but the eyes and smile of a mischievous child on Christmas morning. He recently moved to Montreal, for work and for love. My life will be decidedly less colourful without him around.
I met Tony during grad school. He’s smart, fun and absurdly well read. We share a fascination with French culture and a top-secret love of Evita. He is my karaoke life partner (nobody does Summer Nights like we do Summer Nights). With his artfully mussed hair and routine self-deprecation, Tony reminds me of an anime hero who hasn’t yet realized his superpower.
Last but not least is Phil, my work spouse. He makes me laugh until I cry on a regular basis and transforms the daily grind into a delight. He has a French bulldog named Francine. He sings soaring solos in a gospel choir. He has a laugh unlike any you have ever heard. He is one of the best dudes I know.
There are several things that Gay Boyfriends offer that The Boyfriend and/or The Straight Male Platonic Friend often cannot:
1. They find sports boring and would never force you to watch a game.
2. They are more emotional and intuitive than most straight men, so they do not judge you for your occasional “girl moments.”
3. They revere Madonna as a demigod (The Gay Boyfriend downloaded her new single Celebration eons before you did. For the record.)
4. They find levity and hope in the most depressing of scenarios.
5. When they pour you a drink, there is no ulterior motive.
6. They have neat shoes.
Gay Boyfriends everywhere, consider this your valentine. Bless your brave, brash, jovial, generous, vibrant, filthy, fierce and utterly fabulous hearts.
You are adored.