What is it about love that makes us say and do things we wouldn’t normally do?
I’ll get personal, in a minute.
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And how is it that when we love somebody, we sometimes don’t see who they really are, and oftentimes find out only too late that love has made us blind?
One of the hottest songs on the radio these days is by Senegal-born soul singer, Akon:
“Nobody wanna see us together/ But it don’t matter no/ Cause I got you. Cause we gon’ fight/ Oh yes we gon’ fight/ Believe we gon’ fight/ Fight for our right to love yeah. Nobody wanna see us together/ But it don’t matter no. Cause I got you.”
These lyrics got me thinking — at some point almost everybody becomes involved in a relationship that’s not necessarily the most healthy. And even though other people may try to shed light on the situation, we can’t see past the love we feel.
Yeah, absolutely, I’ve been in relationships where my family and friends could not, for the life of them, figure out what I saw in that person. Some tried to tell me, some tried to show me, and others simply opted to support me while letting me know how they really felt.
What was it about those particular guys that kept me so attached when clearly they weren’t meant for me? I guess a combination of factors.
In general, for some people, I would say it’s pure chemistry. You know, the sex is great, and well, the sex is great. That’s a big draw for a lot of people. Huge.
For others, it may be an insecurity. You may feel like this relationship has been long overdue, and you deserve to be in a relationship. Your thoughts can start to run away from you: If I walk away from this person, will I ever find someone else — anyone at all?
And in other situations, it may be just the fact that you are so different from the other person that you’re intrigued, mesmerized even, and then find yourself trapped like a fly in a spider’s web.
Love is complex, and relationships are complicated and take work at the best of times, even under the best of circumstances. It’s in our better interests, and that of our families, to find a partner with whom life can be as easy as possible.
I’d love to hear from you readers whether any of you have ever been in a relationship that either you knew was unhealthy, or that everyone else seemed to know, and told you, but you didn’t listen. E-mail me with your stories and perhaps we can find a common thread as to why we do what we do, and more importantly, how to untangle ourselves when we get caught in these situations.