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Sometimes you have to be told 'he's just not into you'

I went out on a date with this guy and it went really well. We setup a second date as we both had a great time. The only problem is henever called me back! I texted him a couple of times, but aside fromsome random, non-committal texts back, he’s never asked me out again.What did I miss?

I went out on a date with this guy and it went really well. We set up a second date as we both had a great time. The only problem is he never called me back! I texted him a couple of times, but aside from some random, non-committal texts back, he’s never asked me out again. What did I miss?

Clueless Against My Will

Claire: Dear Clueless,

If I could answer this I’d be richer than He-of-the-meringue-hairdo (Donald Trump). You say the date went well, so I assume the conversation flowed easily, that his body language was good, and that you didn’t mention your meds have kicked in so you don’t hear “the voices” quite as often as you used to.


If any of the above is incorrect then the date didn’t go as well as you thought, and that’s why he didn’t call.

But if it did, then this might have nothing to do with you: I believe that as we get older, timing increasingly dictates whether or not a relationship has a chance to bloom.


Perhaps he’s in that grey area — that intersection between different phases of his life where all he knows is that he doesn’t know what he wants.


The other possibility is that your date went so well, the ecstasy of your potential relationship was too life-altering for him to cope with, so he ran. In which case, keep taking your meds and move on.


Andrea: Dear Clueless,

There’s a saying that I believe applies here: “He’s just not that into you.”


But don’t fret. He did you a favour. By not engaging you beyond that one date, he quite possibly saved you the trouble of emotional upheaval down the road.


Although no one likes the silent treatment or pretending nothing happened, you didn’t have to go through liking him, then not liking him and the inevitable, uncomfortable “we need to talk” talk.


The point is, you didn’t miss a thing.


Instead, ask yourself what you liked about him, then use that information to find an even better hottie.

Once you learn to take a step back, you can enjoy the ride, and isn’t that the best part?


Two sisters, 20-something Andrea and 30-something Claire, offer their differing views on your relationship issues.

 
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