Time for some pop psychology. Are you one of those people who wait in a pancake lineup? Then you’re patient, perfect for painstaking career work, but maybe too subservient.

Or do you disdain the hour-long line, bud into the coffee table, buy breakfast later? Then you’re “can-do,” but maybe for one week a year you could chill.

But what if you could meet interesting pairs of people in a pancake line? People like …
Stephenie Myers, the author of Twilight, and her Calgary fans. Because just about every teen and 20-something in the city has read this novel. It may be Twilight before you get pancakes, but devise the plot for the next sequel.

Michael Ignatieff and Rob Anders. Calgary MP Anders just delivered a scare petition to my mailbox — “Which taxes will Michael Ignatieff raise?” GST, carbon, income, all of the above.

Iggy in line uses his styrofoam plate as shield and plastic fork as a sword. And, yes, he’s just visiting. Rob, that’s OK it’s Stampede week.

Jim Carrey and Sarah Palin. Master impersonator meets the most imitated woman in the world. His rendition of her verbal twang enlivens the Stampede. Carrey, how about a quick rendition of our pancake flippers and airport greeters? Pretty please.

Dany Heatley and Brent Sutter. Misguided native Calgary NHLer floundering in Ottawa meets taciturn new Flames coach and engages in a little pancake talk. Brings Heatley home for a fair price.

Martha Hart and Jerry Seinfeld. His performance for the Owen Hart Foundation sold out this year, so we deserve to meet the funniest man in the world with lovely benefactor Hart. Will pancakes with refined flour pass his lips? Wife Jessica (Deceptively Delicious author) shuffles nearby and plans to sneak beets and peas into our flapjacks.

City pesticide king Simon Wilkins lines up with Healthy Calgary’s Robin McLeod. He has $450,000 a year to spend on pesticides for Calgary grounds. She has a thing or two say about that.

Our mayor, Dave Bronconnier, and a Mount Royal College student. Mayor Dave can explain why the new West LRT is going by his house, but not to campus, leaving thousands of students battling traffic in cars and buses. Final note: MRC is the only post-secondary school not on a public transit train line.

ZZ Top and Aerosmith. Tickets range from $180 to $437 for their Aug. 13 date at McMahon Stadium. For those of us a little bit short of cash, could they hum a few songs, strum a few chords, show some rocker style, while waiting for pancakes and sausages?

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