It must have been so much easier when a guy could just grab the gal he wanted and drag her by the hair to his cave.

OK, so that whole dragging a woman by her hair business is a myth, supposedly created by authors of prehistoric fiction in the 19th century. But there’s a reason it caught on, no doubt, in part, because seducing women is about as easy for most guys as knowing what she really means when she says “I’m fine.”

How else do you explain the rise of “the seduction community,” men who gather in “lairs” to learn how to use social psychology, hypnosis and mind-control techniques to pick up women, a phenomenon explored in The Seducers, airing tonight on Vision TV.

The documentary by Albert Nerenberg and Shannon Brown (creators of the award-winning documentary Stupidity) is a disturbing look at how this movement preys on AFCs or Average Frustrated Chumps, a term coined by Ross Jeffries, one of a handful of famous pick-up artists who teach what has come to be known as “The Game.”

Using psychological tricks to trigger subconscious desire, embedded commands to steer a woman’s mind into thinking erotic thoughts, “weasel” words with a double entendre, such as saying something like: “I’d like to take this conversation in a ‘new direction.’” Repeat that last bit in your head slurring the last two words together. Get it?

It’s pretty sleazy stuff but these guys insist it works. Sometimes a little too well.

Kai, formerly shy, insecure and awkward with women, admits in the documentary that once he perfected the technique, it became addictive. So addictive that he says it was twice as hard to get out of the “community” than it was to get into. He lost sight of what was real and struggled to learn how to be his genuine self again.

Stephane also got out of the game but had to relearn how to trust that love could be real and not just trickery and psychological manipulation.

We all want to be seduced. But no one likes to be conned. And using trickery and gimmicks to pick up women is pathetic and sad.

Frankly, compared to what these guys are teaching men, getting dragged by the hair into a cave sounds downright pleasant.

The Seducers airs tonight at 10:30 p.m. EST on Vision TV.

• Do you think anonymously leaving a copy of Josey’s recent column on vaginal rejuvenation in a colleague’s mailbox qualifies as sexual harassment? Weigh in on Josey’s new blog Sexcetera at

– Josey Vogels is a sex and relationship columnist and author of five books on the subjects. For more info, visit

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