There is no wall.
Rocket Man hasn’t nuked Los Angeles, and a lot of alarming creatures no longer work in the White House: Michael Flynn, Steve Bannon, Omarosa Manigault. (Quick show of hands: Who misses Omarosa? I didn’t think so.)
Thank God for little favors, I say.
The DACA kids are still with their families. The transgender troops are still in uniform. NATO is still NATO. And the Muslim ban’s still tied up in court. Despite some ominous rumblings, the First Amendment hasn’t been gutted yet. Even the Iran nuclear deal is still in place. Obamacare is clearly in critical condition — but, no, it ain’t quite dead yet, regardless of the rumors to the contrary that you might have heard.
One year into the presidency of Donald J. Trump, I can now officially report: The Resistance is mostly, kinda, pretty much holding — and the midterms are only nine months, two weeks and four days away.
Is that a sigh of relief? OK, it might be a bit premature. There’s still plenty for America to panic about.
Our allies don’t understand us. Our enemies have been handed powerful, new recruiting tools. China’s romping wildly across the Asian economy, thanks to our bail-out on TPP. And Russia’s Vladimir Putin gets everything, always — just never any blame.
The president’s still trying to stop the inward flow of the dark people. He’s still vowing to neuter the libel laws. He is itching to let Wall Street go wild again. And, oh, the plans he has for the U.S. Supreme Court: a rising freshman class of right-wing justices, ideally not quite old enough to shave.
As for the Republicans in Congress, they have either lost their hearing or their short-term memory — or is it their backbone? They certainly aren’t saying much. The White House is staffed by people who can barely believe this man is president. But, hey, who else hired them to work in the White House?
Thanks to Trump’s so-called tax reform, living in all the best places (New York, California, a handful of others) just got way more expensive. The “Blue State Tax,” this is called.
And then there’s the tweeting. Enough said about that.
Happy anniversary, Mr. President. Please, not too many more.
Metro columnist Ellis Henican is the best-selling author of a dozen books, including “TRUMPITUDE: The Secret Confessions of Donald’s Brain.” Join him on Twitter @henican.