According to a new study out of the U.S., the more housework a husband does, the more sex he gets.
But hold on, fella, before you jump up and start scrubbing the toilet — the study also showed that the relationship between cleaning and sex is more complex than that.
Most couples complain that trying to juggle work, family and keeping the dust bunnies from multiplying leaves little time for sex, but the study of almost 7,000 married couples revealed that those who work hardest also do the most housework and yes, have the most sex.
“Rather than compromise their sex life” because of time demands at work or at home, “this group of go-getters seems to make sex a priority,” says Constance Gager, lead researcher and an assistant professor of family and child studies at Montclair State University, Montclair, N.J.
But it’s not just about being overachievers. Many couples in the study said that sharing household duties made them feel more like a team working together to maintain their home, which in turn made them feel more intimate.
This study, published online in the Journal of Family Issues, isn’t the first to make the connection between sharing household duties and marital bliss. Couples in one U.S. study out of the Pew Research Center placed “sharing household chores” as the third most important factor in a successful marriage, behind faithfulness and a happy sexual relationship.
Unfortunately, according to this study, women still spend an average 41.8 hours a week on housework, compared with 23.4 hours for husbands. And, I have yet to see a TV ad in which hubby’s gobsmacked by the amazing scrubbing power of some new cleaning product unless it’s got some kind of masculinity-preserving technology behind it.
It’s not like we’re still living in a 1950s sitcom — there are certainly plenty of guys who more than pull their domestic weight — but generally, women still do most of the housework. And many resent it. Despite what the study found, I’ve heard more than one woman joke that her idea of great foreplay is having her husband do the dishes or the laundry without having to be asked. Only thing is, they’re probably not joking.
• How do you and your partner share the housework? Does it cause conflict in your marriage? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
– Josey Vogels is a sex and relationship columnist and author of five books on the subjects. For more info, visit www.joseyvogels.com.
