Parody news organization The Onion took on St. Patrick’s Day traditions from around the county, and the mayors of Boston and New York City are name-checked in the hilarious “report.”
According to The Onion, the people of Boston beat each other up on St. Patrick’s Day, and Mayor Marty Walsh kicked off Sunday’s parade by punching hometown celebrity Donnie Wahlberg in the face.
In New York, Mayor Bill de Blasio honored St. Patrick’s Day by urinating on the subway tracks.
Chicago’s mayor, Rahm Emanuel, was the first to puke in the Chicago River, which is dyed green for the Irish holiday.
