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The proximity effect

Getting in between family is one of the toughest tests for a relationship.

My wife and I are looking to buy our first house. She’s very close with her family and insists we find a place in the same neighbourhood as her parents. The prospect frightens me to my very core. How do I tell her no way?

Angela says…
Getting in between family is one of the toughest tests for a relationship. And this is one of those cases where compromise will be the only solution. If you move her too far from her family, she’ll resent you and, once you have kids, rub it in your face every time you need a babysitter. Move too close and you’ll feel your identity as an independent couple squashed like the spider that set up shop at my back door last summer. Can you agree on a home several blocks away? So instead of a five-minute drive, you’ll have a 20- or 30-minute buffer.


Derek says…
If she’s not willing to cut that umbilical cord, you might be stuck. There is only so much prodding you can do before you enter the relationship danger zone. But chin up, there are some hidden benefits to living near family—think easy child-care, free dinners—that can free up your personal time. This might be your golden opportunity to take up golf.

 
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