Home
 
Choose Your City
Change City

The rules of engagement

There comes a time in your mid- to late-twenties when you start to realize that all your friends are getting engaged.

There comes a time in your mid- to late-twenties when you start to realize that all your friends are getting engaged. Suddenly, all those long-term couples that seemed perfectly content to co-habitate are putting a ring on it and making it official.

When announcing upcoming nuptials to friends and family, the newly betrothed can expect a diverse range of reactions. Jubilant shrieks of excitement are not uncommon, as are tactless inquiries about carat size from nosy coworkers.

And while there are plenty of books on wedding etiquette, not everyone understands the proper protocol when it comes to engagements. Here are just a few of the not-so-well-mannered characters you might encounter after you announce that you’re tying the knot.

The pressure-cooker friend
“So have you picked a date…thought about the flowers…booked a photographer?” This hyper-organized pal will whip up a spreadsheet of wedding related to-dos before you’ve even finished your first glass of celebratory champagne.

The desperate to be in the wedding party friend
Expect this friend to spend a lot of time reminding you just how close you are – the very ambitious campaigners might even deliver a "Why I deserve to be your Maid of Honour/Best Man" speech in an attempt to secure a spot near the altar. Alternatively, some friends will disappear from your radar entirely in the hopes that you don’t ask them to don pink taffeta on the big day.

The disapproving friend
Inevitably, some friends will choose the moments following your engagement to let you know they really feel. Disapproving pals will complain about losing their fun single friend, inquire whether or not you’re really ready for this commitment and insinuate that maybe you could do better.

The why couldn’t it have been me friend
This Debbie Downer will find any way to turn your happy news into an “it’s all about me” situation. After she offers a half-hearted “congratulations,” you’ll find yourself consoling her while she hosts her own pity party and delivers a self-absorbed monologue on her own failed romantic life.

While there are plenty of wrong ways to behave around the bride- and groom-to-be, there is really only one thing you need to know about post-engagement decorum: act happy, even if you’re not. If you want to be a good friend send a card, but keep your opinions to yourself.