“Poll: Californians want to legalize marijuana”
THEATLANTIC.COM, SEPT. 22t
This required a poll? Have you ever been to California?
“N.C. State ... evacuated after beaker explodes”
WRAL.COM, SEPT. 23
Dr. Bunsen Honeydew reportedly sick with grief.
“‘Stop-start’ system coming to U.S. cars”
UPI.COM, SEPT. 18
You mean the preexisting stop-start of my Ford has
been merely accidental?
“I’d love to baptise ET, says Vatican’s stargazer”
DAILYMAIL.CO.UK, SEPT. 17
And we’d love to dunk the pope’s head underwater, but both are bound to end badly.
“Man, 71, fights off intruder with Swiffer WetJet”
GOUPSTATE.COM, SEPT. 17
Man, 71, our new hero.
“Australians may not be as fat as previously thought”
NEWS.COM.AU, SPET. 20
Maybe not. But probably.
“Athens strippers argue over outfits”
CHRONICLE.AUGUSTA.COM, SEPT. 19
This just seems unnecessary.
“Teacher bonuses fail to lift test scores, study says”
BOSTON.COM, SEPT. 22
Now maybe if you gave the kids some cash ...
“Researchers find 2,000-year-old beer was used as medicine”
CARE2.COM, SEPT. 18
Some things never change.