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The week that was

We own any drugs in our buttocks and teen years totally wasted.

Adorable headlines



“At risk from the womb” NYTIMES.COM, OCT. 2
Never did trust those things.


“Man says cocaine in his buttocks isn’t his” 940WINZ.COM, OCT. 1
What has this nation come to when we’re no longer safe from unsolicited drug enemas?




“Bill would exempt wolves from federal protection” NEWS.YAHOO.COM, SEPT. 30
Yeah, and what if Bill jumped off a bridge? What then, huh?


“Woman, 31, posed as teenage boy so she could date girl” DAILYMAIL.CO.UK, OCT. 7
Misguided fool! I was a teen-age boy for seven years and it didn’t do a damn thing for me.





“Johnston County school denies nose ring appeal” WRAL.COM, OCT. 5

Frankly, we find them fairly attractive on the right face.


“Are unrealistic life expectations to blame for baby boomer suicides?” TIME.COM, OCT. 5
It’s either that or the systematic dismantling of the middle class by rich political elites.


“Most Americans don’t get daily exer-cise, survey finds” USATODAY.COM, OCT. 3
Most surveys completely unnecessary, American finds.


“Naked gunman suffered detention centre trauma” WATODAY.COM.AU, OCT. 7
Detention centre-ers suffered naked gunman trauma.


“Miss. judge jails attorney for not reciting pledge” CLARIONLEDGER,CIN, OCT. 6
Mr. attorney swears to take her to court.





“Data: 9 of Top 10 stolen cars are Chryslers” FREEP.COM, SEPT. 30

USA! USA!


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