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The week that was

Metro editors ahead of the curve&nbsp;<font size="2"><strong>• </strong></font>In grumpiness, at least <font size="4"><strong><font size="2">•</font> </strong></font>But we do know proper procedure for a castration<br />

Adorable headlines


“Ax murderer tries to have husband killed”
1035THEBEAT.COM, OCT. 8

This just seems like senseless outsourcing.


“New technologies confuse reality and fiction: Pope”
MONTREALGAZETTE.COM, OCT. 8

Old white guy confuses reality and fiction: Journalist



“Man accused of castrating dog without permission”
CBSNEWS.COM, OCT. 8

He probably had suspicions as to what the dog would say.



“Lead smelter settles with EPA”
UPI.COM, OCT. 11

Finally, an answer to the eternal question of who dealt it.




“Mother, son face child porn charges”
WAPT.COM, OCT. 13

Talk about blaming the victim.



“Oregon Zoo shows off baby cougar”
BLOG.SEATTLE.PI.COM,
OCT. 9

Contradiction in terms?




“Man dreams of bringing dinosaurs to Central Park”
AOLNEWS.COM, OCT. 11

Dude, I once had this dream about robots in the Bowery.
Way trippy!



“Kiwis appal at beer fest”
NZHERALD.CO.NZ, OCT. 10

Well, we didn’t come for fruit.



“Pigeons have urge to gamble”
TELEGRAPH.CO.UK,
OCT.13

Humans have urge to anthropomorphize.



“Pro-life pumpkin carving contest”
JILLSTANEK.COM, OCT. 11

Not pro-pumpkin-life, I guess.



“Painful fidelity vow”
LIFE.GLOBALTIMES.CN,
OCT. 11

Superfluous adjectives are unnecessarily superfluous.



“Age 52: The year people turn grumpy"
NYDAILYNEWS.COM, OCT. 8

Really?! Then what am I?


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