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The Week That Was

For some strange reason, ornithologists seem obsessed with human private parts.

“Tits bouncing back in warmer weather”
THESUN.CO.UK, MAR. 31
Dirty birds.



“Masturbation calms restless leg syndrome”
NEWSCIENTIST.COM, APR. 1
Our legs get plenty of rest, if you know what we mean.
(Habitual inactivity.)



“Baseball players charged over chicken sacrifice”
MYFOXNY.COM, APR. 1
Way off base, fellas. In this country, we outsource our
animal cruelty to corporations.



“8 outrageous executive perks”
FINANCE.YAHOO.COM, APR. 5
No. 2: Not going to jail.
No. 1: Having a job.



“Bristol Palin earns $262K for teen pregnancy work”
WRCBTV.COM, APR. 5
Not bad for nine months of work.




“Kate Middleton can sell anything”
HOLLYSCOOP.COM, APR. 5
Kate: Have you considered a career in the burgeoning field of print news?



“Why we must raise taxes on the rich”
SALON.COM, APR. 4
Because the rest of us don’t have any money left?



“2 busted in slay of Megatron”
NYPOST.COM, APR. 7
So far, no comments from Michael Bay, Shia LaBeouf.



“Not even breathing is safe in Iraq”
WIRED.COM, MAR. 31
Emissions accomplished.



“Miss. Republicans: Inter-racial marriage should be illegal”
AMERICABLOG.COM, APR. 7
Worst pageant ever.



“Bishops agree sex abuse rules”
THEPOST.IE, APR. 5
At least they’re honest about it.

 
 
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