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The Week That Was

This week, Sen. Jon Kyl will play the role of GLORXX. Note: We make no claims of factuality.

“DUI task force judge charged with DUI”
WFTV.COM, APR. 13
Justice is blind drunk.



“Televangelist priest confesses to affair with cousin”
MYFOXDC.COM, APR. 8
We’re not even shocked anymore. The hypocritcal clergyman has officially jumped the shark, and then probably had gay sex with that shark.



“Author of pedophilia book pleads no contest”
CNN.COM, APR. 8
Was there ever any doubt in the Creepiest Author contest?



“Don’t let ignorant people vote”
CNN.COM, APR. 12
We’re outsourcing voting now, too?



“Can alcohol help the brain remember?”
SCIENCEDAILY.COM, APR. 12
It’s certainly worth a try.



“New Mexico bans spanking of children”
MNN.COM, APR. 7
They just don’t make Mexicos like they used to ...




“Reese Witherspoon misses her privacy”
MOVIES.YAHOO.COM, APR. 11
Also seems to miss irony of sharing privacy woes with the mass media.



“Israel warns travellers of Passover attacks”
BREITBART.COM, APR. 10
Beware the plague of frogs.



“Olive Garden serves toddler alcohol”
WFTV.COM, APR. 13
When you’re here, you’re family. Warning: Alcoholism runs in our family.



“4 ways we’re still fighting Civil War”
CNN.COM, APR. 11
Sorry, but whatever it is we’re fighting long ago abandoned all pretense of civility.



“Facebook’s ‘Previous Status Updates’ bring back unwanted memories”
CONSUMERIST.COM, APR. 13
“Just switched from MySpace!”

 
 
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