Put your T-Paws up, baby, it's official: Former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty is officially running for President!
The "serious" Republican crop, compared to media-friendly but "unserious" candidates like Ron Paul and Sarah Palin, is a veritable parade of anonymous Midwestern white men, so you may not be entirely sure who Tim Pawlenty is. That is completely natural! Metro is here to help, so you don't embarrass yourself at the next "serious" dinner party you attend.
Some Tim Pawlenty facts:
»His official campaign bio lists "cut" or "cutting" seven times! ("Tax," "taxes" and "taxed" are at six, but one "taxpayers" ties it up.)
»His issues: Don't raise the debt ceiling! Scrap ObamaCare and adopt Minnesota's PawlentyCare nation-wide! Stop bowing to foreigners and start making America safe! Get more Michelle Rhees in education! Marriage is between a man and a woman!
»He once supported cap-and-trade legislation back when everyone else was doing it, but now that they're not, he's apologized for it.
»He has a dramatic video:
»He thinks his wife is hot! (We're going to be professional here and not render any verdict on her hotness either way, but good for him for thinking that!)
»His nickname is "T-Paw," which is sufficiently similar enough to late '80s synth-pop band T'Pau that we're going to spent the rest of the year this close to coming up with an awesome joke about "heart and soul":
»He's definitely not gay.
What do you know about Tim Pawlenty?