Transgender teen Cassidy Lynn Campbell made national headlines when she became homecoming queen of her high school in Huntington Beach, Calif. on Friday, but her night ended in tears when she saw negative comments flood in from her detractors. The 16-year-old student posted a tearful YouTube video later about her distress.
Still in her pink gown, tiara and sash, Campbell bawled on camera. "I can never have something just good happen to me and have people be happy for me," she cried. "Sometimes I wonder if it's even worth it and if I should just go back to being miserable and just be a boy. I hate myself. I hate my life."
The teen was incredibly upbeat and proud earlier in the night, as were her classmates and principal. She told KTLA she was especially proud of her win because she felt she was paving the way for marginalized transgender teens everywhere. "And then I realized it wasn’t for me anymore and I was doing this for so many people all around the county and the state and possibly the world and I am so proud to win this not just for me, but everyone out there," Campbell told KTLA.
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But Campbell's YouTube video betrayed her inner turmoil. "I know I asked for it and I wanted to run and I wanted to be nominated but it's just so upsetting," she sobbed. "Every real girl who's won has probably been so happy and never even got anything negative but because of my situation I'm so hated on and so judged." She even added, "I know I need to be strong for the kids that I did this for and people I did this for, but I can't right now."
In spite of the negativity Campbell felt after her victory, she also received plenty of support and encouragement, as she herself noted. Both her principal and mother lauded Campbell and her progressive classmates at Marina High School who voted for her.
Campbell wrote in her video description, "I am usually a very strong and confident person, but I have my moments too. Although there was a lot was positive feedback, there was a lot of negative too, and the negative affected me more than it ever has before. I recorded this because I didn't know how else to vent, I didn't want to talk to anybody."
Her supporters encouraged her in their comments, praising her as "brave" and reminding her of her monumental win.